


Canon Remix

by quinnfabs



Series: Friendship Writing Challenge [6]
Category: Glee
Genre: Episode: s06e03 Jagged Little Tapestry, Gen, Inner Dialogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-14
Updated: 2015-02-14
Packaged: 2018-03-12 07:27:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3348683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quinnfabs/pseuds/quinnfabs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She's an adult now. She should be able to act like one, own up to her mistakes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Canon Remix

**Author's Note:**

> I was pretty reeled by the way Santana yelled at Kurt in 6x03, so I wrote this after that. Mostly just word vomit and there is a Finn mention.

The second she’s done talking she regrets everything she’s said. She was angry at him. Furious that he tried to make something that was supposed to be  _hers,_ hers and Brittany’s, something it wasn’t.

Maybe if she was thinking more rationally, she would have realized that Kurt was just trying to help, like he always tries to help. 

She thinks being in that choir room, being in these hallways makes her regress back to the person she was in high school and she wants to throw up. 

She sits in the auditorium, ponders on the conversation she had, sitting right here, with Kurt, about Finn. It feels raw, like it happened just yesterday. She remembers yelling at Finn, the same way she just yelled at Kurt and she wants to throw up even more. 

She thinks about the ring on Britt’s finger, how that’s supposed to mean something adult. How it’s supposed to signify that she’s grown up, that she actually has her shit together. But she doesn’t. She still has no idea what she’s doing with her life. College? Cheer? Broadway? Music tour?

She has no idea. She knows she wants to marry Brittany, knows deep in her soul that Britt makes her stronger, makes her better. But everything else? A mystery. And after everything she’s done today, she feels like a child. A child who threw a temper tantrum. She’s supposed to feel like she’s grown up, ready to swear her life to her one true love. But she just feels sick.

If she was a better person she would apologize to Kurt, say she didn’t mean it, not really. It was fueled by anger, the heat of the moment. She didn’t  _actually_ feel that way about him. They lived together. They were in a band together. She cared about him. Cares. 

But she thinks he might punch her in the face. 

He probably wouldn’t though, he’s too fucking noble for that. 

She doesn’t think he’d believe him, because who would? After everything she said? Picked him apart, the way she used to pick herself apart. 

She thought she learned from that, she thought she was smarter now. Thought she knew that picking apart someone else’s flaws doesn’t make her own better. Thought she learned that after all the garbage she used to spew when she was younger, when she was angrier, more confused. More unsure of herself. 

People tell her she’s beautiful, Britt loves to tell her how gorgeous she is. But right now, replaying the cutting words that spilled out of her mouth just moments ago, she feels so  _ugly._

She’s not the kind of person that apologizes. She can’t even remember the last time she did. But she has to make this right. She has to make this right because if she thinks she’s old enough to get married, old enough to build a life with her true love, then she better be old enough to fix her mistakes. 

She’s not in high school anymore. 

She just wishes she knew how to act like she wasn’t.


End file.
